Colourblind

People here only talk to people they know. It is not normal for people to talk to other people in bars or coffee shops unless they know them. If you do try to talk to them they think you are either mad or hitting on them. Doesn't that feel lonely or boring? Is it invasion of their private space? I remember reading a book about human geography explaining how the density of the population also predicts the personal space of interaction of humans. But here there is something more than that. It has to do with how important we think we are, or how important we would like to be.

Everytime I go to buy something I try to chat with the people, and everybody is shocked because they don't know me, so they don't expect someone they don't know to be polite and chatty and smile to them. It feels weird at first but I love the smile on their faces when I leave. 

Other than that, these days I am reflecting and I like it, I need it. Same mistake again, but this time I know what I want, I know who I am, and what makes me be in harmony. I am responsible for my own mistakes, and my own feelings - not for other peoples'. 

All it takes is a word from someone you really love to make you feel bad, or smile from someone you don't really know to make your heart beat faster. Tonight I will sleep well and allow my brain to rest and think of that smile. It is pulling me out from inside, I am ready and fine.